Whenever my husband and I are watching a wedding movie or TV show, and a soon-to-be married couple cries, “This is OUR wedding!” we laugh. Because most of the time, weddings start out being about you two getting married, and end up trying to make dozens of other people happy. As a Los Angeles wedding photographer, I get to see a lot of weddings and get close to many brides in the months preceding the wedding. So here’s my advice to you:
Your soon-to-be spouse, your friends, and your family really love you for you. Not for the perfect, traditional person you could be on your wedding day. So if you don’t want to do a bouquet toss or garter throw, don’t do it. If Aunt Butter is scandalized, that’s her problem.
On the other side, if you love tradition and all the little symbolic traditions, do them! My two older sisters were very traditional with their weddings, and we all knew what to expect. It was beautiful.
Be Yourself. Find Who You Are as a Couple.
I bought my dad a kilt for our wedding. I made my own dress, a Celtic/elvish style dress. My mom and I made medieval style bridesmaid dresses. We didn’t kiss until our wedding day and got married in my parent’s yard.
Surround yourself with helpers who feel your vision and can encourage you to stay true to your choices if there’s pressure to change your mind. Bridesmaids, friends, even family. Regardless of how old you are, peer pressure exists. We like to please the people close to us. So choose to surround yourself with people who understand what you would love to have.
Don’t Shoot for Perfection.
So don’t sacrifice your happiness as a couple on the altar of having an Pinterest wedding.
In the end, this isn’t a day for perfection. It’s a day for marrying the love of your life, the person you will be with forever. The memories you make here will last so much longer than an Instagram post. So don’t sacrifice your happiness as a couple on the altar of having an Pinterest wedding. If the pictures are amazing, but you remember being stressed and angry at each other, it will not be worth it.
Psst… a lot of times, those perfect weddings you see on Pinterest are “styled shoots,” which means a bunch of wedding vendors come together and put together a photoshoot. The couple and bridal party are all models, the cake is never eaten by guests, and no one has to do anything but stand and dance around for photos. They are an ideal, but frequently on a wedding day things go wrong and you only have time for a certain amount of photos.